Friday, October 9, 2009

Fifteen

It's been an absolute eternity since I last wrote. So many things going on, but something has happened that has compelled me to write to the two people who are following my blog :)
Yesterday, after a rather difficult session with the psychologist, I was aimlessly wandering around the stores at the shopping centre, trying to find the will to get in the car to drive home. While I was in Emerald earlier in the year, Taylor Swift's new song, Love Song, was played ad nauseum on the radio - to the point where I was hearing it about six times a day - and I got sick of it pretty quickly. Since coming home, I don't listen to the radio much. All of a sudden, the song popped into my head, and I decided to buy the CD.
While driving home, I listened to the CD. And it wasn't Love Story that got my attention. It was a gorgeous little song called "Fifteen". Oh, my, goodness. I'm on the downhill to 30, but I remember 15, and I remember all the emotions Taylor talks about, and it brought so many memories to mind. Not all of them good, but it's our past, good or bad, that makes us the people we are today.
I've got regrets. I've done stupid things. I've hurt people. But it's part of growing - physically and emotionally - as a human. Everyone does it. But changing my past would change the person I am right now. It bugs me when people get up on their high horse and condemn others for having a dubious past or something. You know what they say about people in glass houses...*
But life is good too! I've met an amazing man, and I'm grateful every day that he's in my life. He takes care of me, even gets up at 6.30 every morning that I stay at his place, just to make my oatmeal with chocolate soy milk and a glass of juice, because he knows I drink tea too slowly to get it finshed before I have to go to work. He lets me sleep on the couch when I crash out after a big day at work, and wakes me up to go to the shower. He puts me to bed, and if he's going to watch TV or read, he waits until I've fallen asleep before he gets up. He did send me off to meet his parents by myself, but everyone has a flaw somewhere... ;o)
(* Apparently they say they shouldn't throw stones, but personally, I think that people in glass houses should probably get changed in the basement!)